new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
