sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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