we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
