new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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