Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I just want nice things and good sex
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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