That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Randomize