Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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