Small penises have feelings too.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
