11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
