escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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