i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Also, beer. Big fan.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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