I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Randomize
