I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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