can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
