i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
