We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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