is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
