We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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