I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Is Oprah even human
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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