I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
