It's like God shit irony all over that family
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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