Kiss
Puke
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
How's work?
Spinning.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
