I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
