what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
