He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
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