and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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