I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
