Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
