dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
