So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Randomize
