her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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