From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
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