nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
