morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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