everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
