Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
