apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
