the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
