Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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