Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Randomize
