My hair reeks of homosexuality.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
last night I used snow as a chaser
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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