She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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