I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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