I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
