Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
i drank out of a bidet.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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