Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
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