some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
