Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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