I bet he comes in French.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize