I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
