well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
