Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize
