Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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