Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
