Three words: puerto rican gang bang
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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