I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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