The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
