let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize