I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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