I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize