CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
