you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
