Need sex. Gaining weight.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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