Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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