well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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