You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
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