i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
