i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
