Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
