your room smells of hookers.
And success
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
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