I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
