the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
