So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Randomize