If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
