Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
