Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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