She's JV to your varsity
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I will be naked everywhere
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize