I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
