there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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